Summer Renovations: Might be an Improvement?

Matt Wichlen and Patrick Schultz

Over the summer, the school made some pretty significant changes to the third floor of our school, and these changes have definitely not gone unnoticed.

The floors of the third floor classrooms now have a tasteful “parking garage” look. This is all thanks to the discovery (and removal!) of cancer-causing materials living under our tiles this whole time in the form of asbestos. 

Another design move made in response to student needs is the third floor ceiling. After multiple complaints from vertically challenged students, the ceiling of the entire third floor has also now been lowered.

Also, third floor classrooms are 17% more romantic now that lights can be dimmed to whatever the students need to “set the mood.” Social Studies teacher Cullen Bartz’s room is extra romantic (approximately 31% extra) because of the new post-modern design elements added to his space. This new design includes the literal tearing of the once whole wallpaper that covered his wall. We believe the artists wanted to represent the tearing away of barriers through the removal of wallpaper. Three other classrooms experienced the beauty of other exclusive interactive modern art installations in the form of upside down fountains that rained a green antifreeze goo from the ceiling.

Finally, a “clubhouse” has been constructed in the northwest corner of the third floor. It’s capacity is around 25 people, and it was created as a reward to the popular senior kids for being SO popular. A new phone charging station has been installed in the clubhouse. This is the best place to go if you’re trying get your phone stolen during class! Or, if you’re lucky, you can charge your phone for 6 minutes between each hour. In addition to this clubhouse for popular seniors, there has also been the creation of a teachers-only clubhouse, thus adding another spot for teachers to hide from their students.